I’ve been single for a while now and a few months ago I thought I would try online dating. However, after many months of sending emails to what seemed like hundreds of girls I have not had a single response. So, I thought I would try something different.

I’d heard. about people who had a sexual fetish for the disabled (known as devotees, or devs for short) before but I never looked into it. So I googled it and came across a website called Paradevo, which is a website for people who have a fetish for disabled men. Paradevo has an FAQ section, a messageboard, a section for Dev fiction and even an online shop. Because I was curious and wanted to talk to some devs I signed up on the message board, and introduced myself. The message board has a whole section where devs or disabled people can introduce themselves to each other, kind of like the personals section in the newspaper.

Funnily enough the very first message I received after introducing myself on the forum was from a female dev who lives about an hour away from me. I thought that was amazing considering they could have been from anywhere in the whole world and they happen to be from the East Midlands. We got chatting on Skype for a while because I was curious and intrigued. Why are these people sexually aroused by disability? In general I think disability is not regarded as attractive by the majority of people.

The more I looked around on Paradevo the more I learned about devotees. Most devs themselves don’t know why they feel the way they do about disabled people. Some think it’s genetic, some think it was triggered by an experience but it’s never been proven why they are attracted to the disabled. They just are. The same could be said for any sexual fetish. What causes homosexuality? Why are some people turned on by feet? Why do some people like sniffing bike seats? Yes, that is actually a thing.

A fetish for the disabled is just another part of the ever expanding spectrum of human sexuality. But devs are not all the same in their preferences. It’s not all disabled people they find attractive but specific types of disability. According to a Poll on Paradevo the most popular disability is Spinal Cord Injury. Low severity SCI came top in the poll and high severity SCI came second, with cerebral palsy coming third. Some people are turned on by scars, some are turned on by “quad hands” and some like spasms. A dev I’ve spoken to said they liked the way paraplegics or quadriplegics move. They find the uncoordinated movements turn them on, or they like the way the upper body of paraplegics are usually much stronger than the lower half. Some just want to “take care of” disabled people and find the feeling of being needed arousing. They like it when a disabled person asks them for help with something.  Some get turned on by the sense that disabled people are “vulnerable” and they like to help them overcome barriers. Some find the idea of disabled people struggling to perform actions arousing like picking something up or crawling across the floor. Another turn on for devs is strength of character despite a person’s disability. There is such a wide variety of turn ons for them that I could go on ages.

Most devs feel ashamed or guilty about their feelings. They don’t think it is “normal” to get turned on by disability, which is why Paradevo was created to give them a place to talk about their feelings. Some disabled people don’t like devs and probably think they are patronising or weird and don’t want anything to do with them. Personally, I’m open-minded. I think it is refreshing to talk to girls who aren’t put off by my disability. I think the reason I have had very little success on online dating websites is because most girls don’t want to date a disabled guy. That might sound very cynical but that’s what I think. So devs in this respect are great because they don’t see the disability as a negative, in fact it’s the opposite.

However I do think that some of them can be a bit patronising, for example, wanting to “take care” of disabled people even if they don’t need to be taken care of. Or some devs might take advantage of disabled people just to get some sort of sexual gratification. But all the disabled men on paradevo want to meet or talk to a dev because they want to be desired. For a lot of disabled people it’s difficult to find partners, so if they can hook up with a dev it could be a win-win situation for both parties.  If it’s a consensual encounter between two adults I don’t see a problem with that. It does say on the paradevo website that they are not interested in people with learning disabilities because they may not be able to give consent.

There are some people on paradevo that I do find quite odd however. These are people with Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) sometimes called wannabes. These are able-bodied people who want to be disabled so they pretend that they are. Some of them wear leg braces to prevent them from walking properly, or so that they have to use a wheelchair. They believe that they were meant to be disabled not able-bodied. I find it really hard to understand their mindset, because if I had the choice I would not choose to be disabled.

I’ve been emailing two devs from the UK but one of them is not very good at conversation and it’s a bit like talking to a brick wall. But it’s an interesting insight into what makes them tick. At the end of the day they are just normal people who happen to be physically attracted to disability.

Anyway I think this post is long enough so I will stop waffling on now. In case you are interested here is the link to paradevo so you can check it out for yourself.

Thanks for reading 🙂